The change of my body inside and outside, during my Teacher Training Course in Rishikesh
I arrived in Rishikesh with a big smile, a clear mind and a body full of energy, ready to get fulfilled by the amazing atmosphere of this place and to embrace all the new teachings at the yoga school.
I was smiling inside and outside. I was finally starting my Yoga Teacher Training course, something I dreamed for such a long time. Something for which I’ve fighted, sacrificed, invested, believed. I was finally there, ready to start a new adventure and a new chapter of my life.
The first day, during the initiation ceremony, I found myself in front of a bright fire and the chanting of some beautiful mantras. Swami was seated in front of the fire and was explaining its meaning to us :
“The fire is the place where to throw everything we don’t want to carry with us anymore. Bad emotions, destructive feelings, negative thoughts, moments of the past. All the garbage we have inside. We throw everything away and we start a new life with a bright light within, this is the beginning of a new wonderful journey.”
In that moment I felt exactly in the right place, in the right moment of my life, and I knew exactly why I was there. I wanted to create a new path, a new peaceful path, a new way to see myself in peace and balanced in life.
Swami also said that those things we were mentally trowing in the fire, probably would have come back to us during the course, in our body and mind, maybe in different ways, through different practices. I was so happy and excited that day, that I didn’t pay enough attention to this last part of the speech.
“Things will come out, and you will have to face them. Just sit there and look at them, maybe you won’t like them. But you will learn from them, and they will go away. And eventually, you will find peace.”
Pranayama, Yoga Nidra, Meditation, Philosophy. After few days I realized how much I underestimated the importance of these practices during my daily yoga practice itself (mainly based on the Asana and some meditation). These practices are the foundations of yoga. Yoga without them is just plain exercise. I understood this clearly during the classes.
I started to feel the necessity to go deep into these practices, I felt I wanted to understand more, to feel more, to bring them into my life even without knowing the exact meaning or the exact way of doing them.
And then things came out. Those things you don’t want to see. But you know, that are there.
I suddenly saw my body loosing all its energy, having spasm, moving inside, speaking to me. I found myself crying, smiling, shouting, wondering, accepting.
I could feel that something was actually happening and it was not only the tiredness of the intense Asana practice in the morning. It was not only being in a new place, eating only certain food, changing my routine completely and being studded with millions of notions everyday. It was none of that. It was my body speaking to me.
I was paying attention to my body for the very first time and listening what he wanted to say. At its time. At its rules. At its pace.
I felt so armless in front of its power on me.
I’ve always thought I was listening to my body properly in my life, but I wasn’t.
After this episode, the next day I was feeling better again. My body was restored. (my mind, still a bit work in progress 🙂
But there’s one thing I will never forget.
The practice of Asanas I did that day, I’ve never done it before. I felt my body alive.
“Listen to your body”
How many times we’ve heard this?
But how many times we really pay attention to it? How many times we really feel and listen to our body?
I’m only in the middle of this challenging path of my Yoga Teacher Training, and I know many things are still to come, but one thing so far I’ve learned for sure and I will never forget it.
Listen to the body.
He’s speaking to us all the time, and he has interesting things to say. Take more time with your body and your breath, fall in love. Fall in love completely.
Yoga is love. And now I realized why.
… I guess some kind of transformation is in action and I’m just the spectator in front of this huge change that is happening, both in my body and my mind.
So now I will sit here and watch it, with an open heart and my big eyes, and I will embrace everything that it will bring to me, with acceptance and immense gratitude.
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